If we look carefully, we can see that the first nine chapters of Proverbs are distinct from the rest of the book, so much so that even the compiler of the book desired to differentiate the text by beginning chapter 10 with these introductory lines, "The proverbs of Solomon[...]" mimicking the introduction to the first chapter "The proverbs of Solomon, son of David, king of Israel." The first nine chapters act as poetic wisdom literature and mirrors characteristic of a play such as in the style of the book of Job, where the author provides wisdom tucked in within a narrative. It is the task of the reader to 'get his hands dirty' with the text and search out for the treasure hidden below the soil which in turn grants him the fear of the Lord i.e. wisdom (Proverbs 2:1-5).
Here, the narrative of the first 9 chapters of Proverbs display an anxious father who longs for his son to listen to his advice. To list a few passages, Proverbs 1:8 says, "Hear, my son, your father's instruction, and forsake not your mother's teaching," and Proverbs 3:1 says, "My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments," and Proverbs 4:1-2 "Hear, O sons, a father's instruction, and be attentive, that you may gain insight, for I give you good precepts; do not forsake my teaching." You could go on and on finding the father repeat over and over for his son to hear him and obey his teachings. But to what end? And here, I am making an assumption. A fair warning this is my personal opinion but I have some context clues that back it up. It's possible that within the narrative, he's preparing his son for choosing a good spouse. Yes, there are many other things he's preparing his son for. He's telling his son to live wisely in God's carefuly crafted and ordained world. To do good unto neighbor and to not be among the scornful. But from chapter 5 to 9, two women take center stage in the poetic structure, which in turn ends with a call and a choice.
The father warns his son from a character we can nickname Lady Folly or The Adultress Woman. Again, the father tells his son to listen to him, but pay attention to what end, "My son, be attentive to my wisdom; incline your ear to my understanding, that you may keep discretion, and your lips may guard knowledge. For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil, but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword," (Proverbs 5:1-4). Why is the father anxious for his son to hear him? He's anxious because he wants his son to keep away from the forbidden woman. Instead, his son should enjoy the fruits of the wife of his youth, "Drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well[...] Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth [...] Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman and embrace the bosom of an adulteress," (Proverbs 5:15, 18, 20).
The theme of choosing a good woman and marrying her only intensifies with the reintroduction of Wisdom who is personified as a Lady. Proverbs 7:4-5 reads, "Say to wisdom, "You are my sister," and call insight your intimate friend, to keep you from the forbidden woman, from the adulteress with her smooth words." The father isn't actually saying to his son that Wisdom is his sister, rather as the Lover calls his Beloved Bride in Song of Solomon a 'sister' in chapter 4, it means Lady Wisdom must be intimately tied to his nature. Perhaps even seen as a wife, or the at the very least she who will guide the son to his wife.
And then, in chapter 8, we see Lady Wisdom's call. We see Lady Wisdom in her grandeur. She is precious and possesses life abundantly. She is both ancient and yet transcends time itself. If man were to love her she would love him back and fill their treasuries with God's inheritance. I highly recommend a deep dive in this chapter. Nevertheless, chapter 8 prepares us for chapter 9's duel of the minds.
In chapter 9, we see two women who look and act very similarly to the same audience, the son, but whose ends could not be farther apart. Both women have prepared banquets at their table (verses 2, 17, respectively), both possess the highest places and call out, (verses 3, 14, respectively), both with a message for the simple (verses 4, 16, respectively). One invitation leads to life multiplied (v. 11) while the other leads to death (v. 18).
Thus, reader, we can apply this lesson yes, most definitely to marriage, but more broadly, to choosing between good and bad options, and even between good and better options. We can either choose to do well or sin against our God. So today, which Lady will you choose? Who's invitation will you take? To Whom will you be "married" to? Lady Folly or Lady Wisdom? It's easy for us to say we'd accept Lady Wisdom's invitation and dine in her banquet, but if we are honest with ourselves, we tend to choose foolishness more than living in wisdom, don't we? Could it not be because we often overlook the father's advice in Proverbs 3:5, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding,"? And instead of trusting in God we trust in our own perspectives and biases which blur our eyes from distinguishing which one is Lady Folly and which one is Lady Wisdom? Both invite, both call, both have prepared a feast, both open their doors to enter their home, but their end couldn't be farther apart. Thus, friends, we must live in discernment. We must dig into the Word of God, which is light unto our path (Psalm 119:105). Then and only then can we distinguish between these two similar calls. Learn to love wisdom. Marry her. Call her your intimate friend. For when you do, your life will be multiplied and your treasuries filled with God's inheritance.
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