Love Does Not Behave Rudely

“Love…does not behave rudely…”

This week we begin in verse 5 of 1 Corinthians 13. We will learn about four different aspects of love: Love is not rude, does not seek its own, is not provoked, and seeks no evil. This week we will start with the first aspect of love which is “Love…does not behave rudely.” This literally means that love is not “offensively impolite.” This is where it is important to be careful not just what you say, but how you say it. A soft answer turns away wrath (Proverbs 15:1). There will surely be times where it is easy to become rude. I think there are times when we will even feel justified and that “the only way we could deal with someone was to be rude.” At times we may be studying God’s Word or listening to a sermon, and we are distracted by a friend, a child, a parent, an annoying teenager, etc. and the temptation is again to be rude and feel justified thinking “their distracting me from time spent with God, I must shut them up!” This is a lie of the devil, however. It is not loving to be rude, ever. We need to be firm at times, yes, but not rude.

Jesus offers a great example of how to not be loving by not being rude. In Matthew 11:2, John the Baptist sends messengers to Jesus to ask Him, “Are you the Coming One, or do we look for another?” Putting yourself in John’s shoes, you can be a little sympathetic toward him. John had to send messengers to Jesus because he was in prison…for being obedient to God. He had confronted the king and his brother’s wife for the adultery they were collectively committing. For it, he was thrown into prison where he would eventually be beheaded. However, put yourself in Jesus’ shoes. He had done everything perfectly. He had not made a single mistake, He hadn’t committed the smallest of sins, meaning, He had never told a minor lie, he had never exaggerated anything (i.e. “I was tempted 41 days!” “I fed 6,000” etc.), He had never had a prideful thought, He had never lusted, etc. He loved with perfect love, He was the Creator of the universe, He was pure holiness. Now, a good friend, one he was deeply sorrowful over when he eventually died, was questioning Him. He was questioning whether He really was who He said He was.

The reaction Christ gives is not one of displeasure. He does not rebuke John, though He had every right to. He did not say, “I thought you were my friend.” He simply tells the messengers to report back to John what they saw. The lame walk, the deaf hear, the blind see, etc. (4-6). He was not rude, He was not offensively impolite. Again, He had every right to rebuke John, but He chose not to.

When the messengers leave He then turns to the crowd and instead of laying in to John the Baptist He begins to complement Him, praising Him for his faithfulness and righteousness. He even says in verse 11 that John the Baptist is the greatest man that has walked the face of the earth. Instead of rebuking John, He turns around and praises him for his righteousness! He shows here that He has a genuine love for John and does not behave rudely.

When I am in a situation similar to the situation Jesus was in, I fail. I justify my response by saying I am right, and he or she is wrong to attack me like that, but that is a prideful and offensively impolite response. To be loving is to hear the unjust (or just) rebuke from another and to instill a loving response. I, unlike Jesus, may need to ponder what they are ridiculing me of and if they are right, even if they state it with a hateful or hurtful heart. It would be prideful to assume I always do right. The exception here is if I know my actions are biblical. And if I can do so from the heart, I may even complement the person who has wronged me. This can, of course, heap coals of fire on their head.

There are times where I may need to be firm, to defend God and His glory, but I ought to be careful and to be wise. My actions must always replicate the loving actions and example Christ gave us. He is love, I am not, but I can make changes if I pursue His example of love in action.

Job 42:2 says, “I know that You can do everything, and that no purpose of Yours can be withheld from You.” In Daniel 4:35 Nebuchadnezzar writes, “All the inhabitants of the earth are reputed as nothing; He does according to His will in the army of heaven and among the inhabitants of the earth no one can restrain His hand or say to Him, “What have you done?” We can see in Psalm 148 that all creation praises Him, sun, moon, stars, animals, hail, snow, trees, etc. We are not needed; we profit Him nothing. It begs the question, “What is man that You are mindful of Him, the son of man that You visit him?” (Psalm 8:4). The answer is quite clearly love. He loves us, each of us.

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